


Repression

by Amber1105



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Corrupted Gems, Corrupted Steven Theory, Corruption, I Don't Even Know, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-09 11:16:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20993921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber1105/pseuds/Amber1105
Summary: Steven never had been great at letting others help him. That never seemed to change, no matter the circumstances. But as his issues get harder and harder to hide, the gems begin to notice and become concerned. But as it turns out, it's much more serious than an overwhelmed, exhausted teen. Will they realize the truth in time?(Based on the corrupted Steven theory)





	1. Worry

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing Fanfiction for Steven Universe. Sorry if it's bad, I tried my best. Constructive criticism is appreciated!

It had been a long past few days. White had had a relapse, becoming obsessed with her flaw and nearly killing them all. 

Again. 

But he was happy to help! He had to, after all. But despite the fact that the chaos had been over for nearly an hour, his heart rate wouldn't quite slow down to it's normal rate, nor did the exhaustion he felt get any less overwhelming. 

That wasn't to say he didn't enjoy helping people, he really, truly did. But no matter how tired he was, he had more work to do. He still had yet to check up on the gems in little homeworld, make sure no accidents had happened, and all the new gems were accustoming to their life on Earth. Just last week, he had to calm a gem whose name he didn't even know from a breakdown. He would always have more to do, after all. 

He sighed, splashing water over his face. Until a thought came to mind. Of what had happened last week. 

He shouldn't think about that, it was nothing. 

But unfortunately, his mind seemed determined on remembering the incident. The week before, everything just...came crashing down. All the expectations he had, to be like his mom, but somehow not repeat the numerous mistakes she made. And at the same time making sure that the diamonds didn't randomly revert to their old ways and try to kill them all. And trying to help all of the new gems get used to a life on earth. In that moment, everything, all that he was feeling, all the expectations, the exhaustion, it all came crashing down on him at once. One thought lead to another, and another, swarming him, and even though he knew what he should be doing, breathing, thinking, they're just thoughts, they can't harm you. But instead of having a regular panic attack, something very strange happened, no doubt stemming from his gem. 

A white, blinding light suddenly consumed his vision. Everything hurt, his eyes burned from the light and his gem felt like it was on fire. He collapsed to the ground in agony, trying not to scream and alert the gems. But finally, the agony became more bearable, and the haze lifted from his mind. 

Only to leave him wondering what had happened. He had never experienced anything similar, even when his gem was being strange. But he hadn't had time to worry about it. People were counting on him. He had to be there. 

He had a training session with Connie anyway. 

He had just been ready to head out when he noticed something strange. Something that put a deep sense of foreboding in Steven's heart. Something on his head, just barely covered by his hair.

A horn.

It was small, and Steven barely felt it at first, but once he did, he could barely believe it was there. Connie had told him once that horns were made of the same stuff fingernails and hair were made of. But this didn't feel quite like either. It was unnaturally smooth, already with a dull point at the end, and its texture was much more akin to steel than a regular horn. Not that Steven knew much about horns in the first place. 

He sat there, running his fingers over it, parting his hair and looking at it, feeling how it connected to his scalp. He could've stood there for hours, enveloped in the worry, the confusion, the fear, but a voice called him from the other room. 

"Yo, Ste-man!" Amethyst called from the living room. "Peri says she needs to show you something! " 

...Right. She had been working on a project with Lapis in little homeworld to impress the other gems there. Lapis hadn't seemed to care all that much about it, but Peridot did, so she helped anyway. Steven had a sense she enjoyed it more than she let on anyway. Steven sighed. He had more work to do. He couldn't let them down. He fluffed up his hair, hoping it wouldn't happen to get wet. 

He didn't know what he could do if they found out. He didn't want to burden them.


	2. A night by the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While everyone has a nice night by the sea, Steven continues to repress his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one wasn't this important (and short), I'm still really new to this and I promise the next one will have bigger changes!

As it turned out, it was a lot harder to hide a literal horn on his head than thought. It didn't help that he lived by a beach and one of his closest friends could control water. Peridot, Bismuth, Lapis, along with the rest of the crystal gems, his dad, and Connie had gotten together to hang out on the beach. 

Any other time, Steven would've been overjoyed to spend a night with all of his closest friends. It was a nice night, comfortably cool, and everyone was laughing and having a good time. And Steven was, to an extent. 

He noticed Bismuth in the water, along with Lapis and Peridot, splashing each other and goofing around. Lapis obviously had the advantage, but at least she didn't flood the beach or anything. But as it turns out, it was about as bad, at least for Steven. 

She suddenly splashed him, getting him absolutely soaked. Of course, had there not been a literal horn in his head he was trying to hide, Steven would've simply laughed it off and retaliated. But instead, he put a hand to his head, trying to cover up then horn with his hair, which wasn't cooperating in his endeavor.

"I- I have to go to the bathroom!" He suddenly excused himself, running back to the house. 

"Dude, just- " Amethyst called, but he was already gone. 

All of them were staring at him, weren't they? He hasn't meant to make a scene. 

Them finding out would be a bigger scene, he supposed. 

He arrived at the house, immediately going to the bathroom to take a moment to calm down. Almost hesitantly, as if it would burn him, he reached up and touched the horn again. It had only been a few days since he discovered it, and he could've sworn it was bigger than before. Sharper. 

He splashed water on his face, trying to breathe. He needed a moment. He needed several moments. 

Steven was glad they seemed to be doing well in his absence. He had only been gone for about 10 minutes, which was a little long for the excuse he had used, but luckily no one seemed too intent on questioning it. Steven could at least smile as he saw Lapis summon a wave that surely would've washed Peridot out to sea, if it wasn't for Bismuth grabbing her leg. 

But at least with everything happening, there could still be quiet moments. There was only the sound of laughter, waves(some bigger than others, admittedly), and the quiet breeze over the sea. Everyone was so happy. But even as he smiled, and he laughed, there was still that worry, that fear, of not only what would happen to himself, but to his friends as a result of what was happening to him. 

Connie, sitting next to him, turned to look at him. "You've been quiet tonight. Is there something on your mind?" 

There was, almost literally. But he didn't want to worry her. She already had her own issues, most of which had been indirectly caused by Steven. He couldn't bare to cause her more pain than he already had. 

"It's nothing! Everyone's just so happy…" He smiled, mostly genuine at least. 

He could tell, she wanted to say something else, and was contemplating exactly how to word it. But luckily her attention was brought away from him as Pearl called her over for a spar. 

At least she was having a good time tonight. And the others seemed to be as well. That was all he could ask for.


	3. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven has to make up excuses to hide the truth.

It was a quiet morning, something that was unfortunately rare nowadays. But it was worth it, right? Everyone was so happy. The old homeworld gems are adjusting nicely to their new lives, and Steven couldn't wait to go check up on a few new friends he had made. He also needed to check up in Spinel and the Diamonds. Not to mention whatever random gem that would happen to need his help at any given moment. He sighed. He shouldn't think about that now. He was starting to get a headache, and he had just woken up. 

He rubbed his temples, running his fingers through his hair, trying to avoid touching the horn again. It was weird that it was there. He didn't like thinking about it, let alone touching it. There were other things to worry about. But unfortunately, the universe seemed determined on giving him another thing to worry about. Because when he ran a hand through his hair, he felt something. No, two somethings. 

Two new horns, smaller than the one before, just barely covered by his hair. 

Steven leaned over the kitchen sink. He felt sick. What was happening to him? No, that was a dumb question. He knew, even if he had been denying it. Somehow, someway, he had been- 

Suddenly the warp pad across the room lit up to reveal Pearl. Steven jumped and pulled his hand away from his horns.

"Steven! " She called. "Bismuth said she's working on a new project she needs you to see later!" 

She walked up to him, and Steven did his best to fake a smile, hoping she wouldn't notice how forced it was. Or his horns, which very well could be peeking out through his hair. But luckily, she seemed to notice either as Connie walked through the door. What was she doing here? 

Oh! He had a training session with her today! He normally never forgot their training sessions, he loved them. But with his...issue, he was nervous. He was sure with him moving around so much, it could potentially make his horns more visible. Or what if he fused with Connie like this? Humans, to his knowledge, couldn't get corrupted. But then again, Steven never would've expected he would be able to, either. 

"Hey Steven! " She called to him. "You ready?" 

Steven paused. On one hand, he did want to train. It was fun. And he didn't want to disappoint her. But on the other hand...he couldn't let her find out. She would be scared, maybe even angry. He didn't want to put her through more than he had. 

Steven was usually a very honest person, but that day, and in many following days, that began to change. He was lying to protect them, of course. If they found out, they would be scared. Angry. 

Betrayed. He didn't want to put them through that. 

So on that day, and for many days onward, he made up some excuse. Peridot needed him. He wanted to see the diamonds. Excuse after excuse. It was to protect them. 

But that didn't make him feel any less guilty. 

And Steven should've expected that it would get worse. Not only were the other horns beginning to grow more, he woke up one day with a bright, unnatural spot of pink on his arm, clearly starting from one small point and spreading out. Just the sight of it sent shivers down his spine. He had seen it before, on other gems, but never had wanted to see it again. 

He sighed and put his head in his hands. He would have to lie about this, just as he had been lying about everything about the process he was going through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not great at writing other characters can you tell

**Author's Note:**

> Steven really needs to accept help from others.


End file.
